Vegas, Baby!

I'm going to Las Vegas for my birthday this weekend. When I get back, I'll try to get back on track and follow the plan. I've thought about doing a little blogging of my food journal to keep me motivated. We'll see.

These are the shoes I'm wearing this weekend - HOT!

Bored and Boring

Maintaining is boring. It has none of the drama of a good weight loss story. The losses, the excitement, the new clothes. You don't get any of that when you maintain.

I am well aware that my weight is not at the final place that I want it to be. And yet, I just can't seem to find the will power to do anything about it. So I am maintaining. Maybe I will get sucked into the current of the New Year's weight loss river. Is motivation contagious? Can you catch it from other people?

I'm still going to my maintanence classes every week. I sit next to a charming man who just turned 60. He has been doing this program off and on for 7-8 years. He had a high weight of 300 pounds and is now hovering just over 200. He has gone up and down in a 40 pound range over that time, but has never regained all of the weight. And he is totally motivated right now to lose. He is following the plan perfectly. He knows that he might not be in this mood a month from now.

The motivation to lose weight comes and goes. There is a trick to this though. Usually, when I'm bored with a diet, I quit and slowly gain back the weight. My new trick is to learn how to maintain. If I can just not gain back the weight, then I will be in a great place to start from when I feel that next wave of motivation.

In the mean time, any suggestions for good motivational books or blogs?

Week 28 - Down .4 Pounds

Weigh in: 212.8 pounds
Total loss: 32.5 pounds

One of my comments asked what plan I am following. As usual, my answer isn't simple. Most days I'm drinking a double shake in the morning. Another in the afternoon. I have a snack of low-fat popcorn and a light dinner at home. Sometimes the dinner is just an HMR Entree or a bowl of HMR Cereal. When I'm hungry and want to eat something, I will have vegetables. Usually a bag of the Steamfresh kind that you can make in the microwave. If I have a party or a dinner out, I will eat like normal. Where "normal" = "way too much".

Since I have been on maintenance, I have not managed to lose much weight. But I have maintained. And as long as I keep up what I am doing, I will gradually lose the rest. A little at a time. I think I'm OK with that. Sometimes I get impatient and think I will try to go back on all shakes. It hasn't worked out for me so far. With the holiday season coming, I doubt I will have that kind of willpower. As long as I can keep losing a little bit each week through the holidays, I'll be fine.

I found some pants that fit right and bought a black pair and a khaki pair. I have yet to see how they come out of the dryer, but otherwise they have passed my tests. I did have to spend $32.50 instead of under $30. Close enough. It is kind of cool how good it feels to wear pants that fit. Everything I've been wearing has been either too baggy or too tight. I still hope they don't fit by the end of the year!

Week 27 - Down 1.4 pounds

Weigh in: 213.2 pounds
Total loss: 32.1 pounds

I need a new pair of black pants. My current pants are so baggy in the butt that I am starting to look clownlike. Unfortunately, I haven't lost the same proportion of weight in my waist. So while the waist fits, the butt sags. I can't go shopping and try on pants because very few stores carry a large selection of talls. So I internet shop. I like a low waistband and a 34" inseam. I would like them to come out of the dryer fairly nice without needing an iron. I don't want elastic on the waistband. Is this too much to ask? Oh, and I'm cheap. I don't like to spend over $30 since they aren't going to fit two months from now.

Did you hear that people? They are NOT going to fit two months from now. I AM going to keep losing weight. Wish me luck with the shopping.

Week 26 - Down .6 pounds

Weigh in: 214.6 pounds
Total loss: 30.7 pounds

OK. Recovering from vacation may take a little longer than expected.

I tried to just go on all shakes again, but that isn't really working for me. Once you get used to eating again, it is almost impossible to make it an entire day without solid food. I talked to my class about it today. All except one said the same thing. They have tried to do all shakes and failed. One guy has been able to do it. He lives alone and gets rid of all the other food in his house. Wow.

I'll keep trying. Even half a pound is still a loss.

Week 25 - Up 6.7 pounds

Weigh in: 215.2 pounds
Total loss: 30.1 pounds

Vacation weight is bad, but not as bad as it could have been. I'm starting over. Since Monday, I have been back on the shakes.

There is a weird sense of relief going back on the restricted diet. No decisions to make. No shopping to do. Just drink the shakes.

I feel less bloated already.

In other news, I'm going through physical therapy for my back problems. I have had to stop all exercise except for the PT exercises. This is forcing me to be less than perfect on the program. I can't burn my 2000 calories a week in exercise. I'm hoping to be able to start back up in November.

I'm going to make a big push to get under 200 pounds by my birthday. There is only Halloween candy and Thanksgiving dinner standing in my way.

Self. Control. Now.

Explanation

OK. So I forgot to tell you guys that I was going on vacation. Oops, my bad!

I went to DisneyWorld in Florida for a week. It was awesome. My kids are 7 and 10 and were just the perfect age to have fun with. We stayed up late and hit all the parks. Usually two in one day. There was no relaxation, but a lot of fun packed into the week.

Oh, and did I mention that I ate a lot. Um...yeah. I did. Disney is trying to make it a little healthier. They give you the choice of having apple slices instead of french fries with your meals. And for the kids meals you can get carrot sticks and grapes. Better, not perfect.

I did choose wisely at first, but as the week wore on, I gave in more and more to the desserts and treats that I wouldn't normally get at home, like funnel cake. Yummy, yummy funnel cake.

Any guesses on how much weight I gained over the week? I'll give you a day to think about it and let you know tomorrow. (One hint: It was less than 10 pounds.)

Week 21 - I don't really know

I skipped my meeting yesterday, so I don't have a new weight to post. Sorry.

I had one of those days where you wake up and suddenly weigh 4 pounds more than you did the day before. Why did all the water in the world decide to take residence in my body? Oh, because I'm female. Lucky me. And cramps too? Great!

I just couldn't handle going to my meeting and facing a big gain when I didn't even get to eat and enjoy it.

In other news, the people who make PB2 (the powered peanut butter that I put in my shakes), have come up with Chocolate PB2. I'm going to have to try that yummy goodness.

Week 20 - .5 pounds

Weigh in: 208.5 pounds
Total loss: 36.8 pounds

I'm in a rut where I eat basically the same foods each week. I get about the same amount of exercise each week.

I think I need to eat the same amount of food, but push it back to earlier in the day. I eat about half of my calories during the day and the other half at night. I guess I'm always afraid that hunger is going to hit later in the day and I won't have anything left to eat. Except that on this plan, I can always have another shake if I'm hungry. Truly hungry. Not just bored and want something to eat. Because a shake won't cure that.

At class this week, they suggested eating more of the meal replacements from the plan. It just goes against everything to try to eat more when I'm not really losing. They swear it works though. Sometimes your body just needs some variety in the caloric intake in order to turn up the furnace. I guess it is worth a try.

Stats Update #4

Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 209 pounds
BMI: 31.8

Upper Arm: 14.5" (stayed the same, 1.5 total)
Chest: 42.5" (lost 2 inches, 5.5 total)
Waist: 40" (lost 1 inch, 5 total)
Hips: 41.5" (lost 1.5 inches, 4.5 total)
Thigh: 24.5" (lost 1 inch, 2.5 total)
Calf: 15.5" (stayed the same, 1.5 total)

Total inches lost since June: 5.5 inches
Total lost since the start: 20.5 inches

I was wearing size 14 jeans for the first time this weekend. And they felt good.

Body Image Weirdness

In the beginning, I felt fat. I felt fat enough finally to want to go on a diet. Change my lifestyle. Whatever.

After I lost some weight, I started to feel thin. Obviously, if my pants are baggy, I must be thin, right?

Now I'm kind of stalled and I feel fat again. Even though the weight is still off.

What is up with that? Have I just become used to my body as it is? Which feeling is real?

A plateau is a strange place to be. Just sitting here waiting for the next drop to come.

Week 19 - Stayed the Same

Weigh in: 209 pounds
Total loss: 36.3 pounds

Believe it or not, I'm not really trying to maintain. I'm still trying to lose. But I've gotten really good at staying the same. Almost every morning, I weigh exactly the same.

I'm tempted to take a few days and just do shakes again to get past this weight. I know that I'm due for a big loss week. I wanted it to be this week. Maybe it will be next week since I will finally be able to get back to my normal exercise schedule next week.

Oh well. At least I'm not gaining.

Week 17 - 1.5 Pounds

Weigh in: 209 pounds
Total loss: 36.3 pounds

I'm back on track.

I know it is kind of boring and hard to read about someone moving up and down and more or less maintaining. It is a lot more exciting to read about the big losses and success.

Believe me, I would much rather have the big losses. But right now I'm just kind of getting used to this weight before I try really hard to lose the next 15-20 pounds. A few weeks of small losses will be OK with me.

Week 16 - (+) 1 pound

Weigh in: 210.5 pounds
Total loss: 34.8 pounds

I don't know how that happened. (Reread previous post.) Oh yeah. That is how it happened. No exercise and a little snacking. But I do have the new plan.

I came out of my maintenance class today totally motivated to do better. Most of the class had a gain this week. Maybe the scale is off or maybe trans fats are being pumped into the air in Illinois. Either way, I know I can do better.

My lovely and talented sister-in-law has come up with a "punishment" for me should I gain for three weeks in a row. If I gain again next week, I have to post an unflattering picture from before I started the weight loss. Fine. I'm up for that bet. The chances of me gaining three weeks in a row are pretty slim. There is another bet going where I would get to post a bad picture of her to my Facebook page. Just so you know that we are fair in our torturing of each other.

I'm totally going to lose next week. Weight, that is.

Little Things Add Up

I was home flat on my back for three days with lower back pain. I was getting no exercise and taking a lot of Advil. And, wow, did I want to eat. Boredom eating is one of my major downfalls. There isn't any part of my day that wouldn't be a little brighter with some M & Ms added to it.

I didn't eat too much outside of the plan, but the freedom of being on maintenance let me talk myself into grabbing a handful of this and a couple of those. I need to remember that all those little things will add up. Especially when I'm not adding in any exercise to burn of the extra.

Today, I am starting to restrict myself again. I have about six weeks until we go to DisneyWorld. I don't want to waste those six weeks of potential weight loss.

My days should look like this (It is very similar to the HMR at Home plan):

Breakfast: 1 Fruit
Snack: 1 Shake
Lunch: 2 Vegetables
Snack: 1 Shake
Dinner: 1 Entree, 1 Vegetable, 1 Fruit
Snack: 1 Shake

When necessary, I will add extra fruits or vegetables. This will fulfill the minimums that are required for my maintenance. It restricts me to not adding any extras.

I'm also striving to hit the 2000 calorie minimum exercise again. I slacked off a bit lately. I have no excuse (other than the back pain). The weather has been beautiful and mild. Perfect for walking. So I am doing 15 minutes, three times a day on my morning break, lunch hour, and afternoon break. If I don't get it done during the day, I'll have to make it up on my treadmill at night. That gets more difficult with the amount of homework supervision I have had lately.

I'm trying to get back that "new diet" feeling. That time when you are obsessed about following the rules and journaling your efforts. Wish me luck.

Week 15 - (+) 2 pounds

Weigh in: 209.5 pounds
Total loss: 35.8 pounds

So vodka does not help promote the weight loss the way the beer from last weekend did.

I had a lot of fun in Chicago this weekend. I drank vodka and got to see Radiohead live at Lollapalooza. I ate a couple of meals out that were off plan. I kept the portions really small, but the contents were more fattening than my usual meals.

I did OK. The weight will come off again next week. I didn't let it turn in to a weekend long binge. Overall, I'm proud of the way I handled it.

100 Days

Today is my 100th day of the HMR Diet.

Yesterday I signed up for three months of maintenance. I am committed to staying with this plan.

So let's all toast with some nice cold water to another 100 days.

Week 14 - 4 pounds

Weigh in: 207.5 pounds
Total loss: 37.8 pounds

Number of beers I had at my class reunion Friday night: 4
Number of pounds lost this week: 4

Hmmm. A new weight loss tool? Probably not.

I have officially switched to the HMR Maintenance program. Before anyone gets all worried, let me just say that I will still be losing weight. I just get to eat under different guidelines than the Healthy Solutions program.

The maintenance part of HMR is really about transitioning back to real food. I am still expected to use 14 meal replacements a week. Either shakes or entrees. And I still need to eat 35 servings of fruits and vegetables a week. After I get all of that in, I can make my own choices. In order to lose weight, my choices are going to have to stay on the reasonable side of lean proteins and whole grains.

The best part is that there is no "in the box" or "out of the box" anymore. I don't have to feel bad for having a salad with chicken on it. (Not that I really felt bad about that choice, but I did have to declare it out of the box.)

Anyway, I have just moved one more step towards eating healthy and in control.

By Request

Pumpkin Cookie

(I believe I have warned in a previous post that the results may not resemble anything that looks like a cookie!)

Use a scoop of HMR 120 (or a shake packet of the others)
Add 1 Tablespoon of Fat-Free Sugar Free Vanilla Pudding
A couple of shakes of Pumpkin Pie Spice
A packet of Equal or Splenda
Mix in about 3 Tablespoons of water

Spray Pam Cooking Spray on a microwave safe plate. Pour the glop from above onto the plate and microwave for 65-70 seconds. It may not be pretty, but it is kind of good for breakfast.

I call my lastest favorite a Cinnamon Cookie. It is the same as above only I substitute a few shakes of Cinnamon for the spice. And I use a teaspoon of Splenda Brown Sugar Substitute for the sweetener.

These can be life savers when you want something solid. I feel that way on weekend morning a lot. This fills the muffin craving for me. Let me know how it turns out for you.

Still Hard

And I don't mean in a good way. (wink, wink)

I just wanted to put a little note out today to say that this dieting thing is difficult. It isn't easy to keep going day after day. The weight loss isn't happening as fast now. The sizes aren't changing that quickly. And yet, I still have to sacrifice what I want for what is healthy. Everyday.

Maybe I need to set some goals. Small goals to help me through this middle part. Anyone have any ideas for small goals and rewards? Some of my goals should be exercise related. I need to increase my exercise. And yet, I don't like to sacrifice much of my free time.

I usually walk during my breaks at work which gets me an automatic 30-40 minutes of walking in each day. I want to try to develope a quick 10 minute arm workout for the evenings with small hand held weights.

I want a burst of that good motivation that comes with the start of a diet. Do they sell that in a bottle? Can you find it on a website? Let me know.

Week 13 - .8 pounds

Weigh in: 211.5 pounds
Total loss: 33.8 pounds

I'm at this weird place in my body where I'm not quite fat anymore, but not at all thin either.

Obviously, I've lost some weight and I feel great. I am at the edge of normal clothing sizes which will eventually give my a lot more options when I get around to shopping again. I don't feel so grossly swollen like I did before the diet started.

And yet...not thin. I still have a lot of weight that I would like to lose. I would like to get down a couple more sizes of pants. I'm guessing that I am at the halfway point to where I would like to end up. And I'm tired of the Healthy Solutions part of the diet already. Oh no!

I know what is happening. I have hit the three month limit to my dieting attention span.

Almost any diet I have gone on in the past has had about a three month shelf life before I lose interest and give up. Luckily, this time I don't feel like giving up. I just feel like changing things around a little. And my counselor is encouraging me to do that. The idea is to keep me interested and willing to keep working on it. If I feel stagnated by what I am doing, then we will come up with a different plan that fits better. I love this attitude by the weight loss staff.

I will be working out my new plan with her during the next week and I'll let you know what the end result is. The most important end result will be that I will continue to lose weight.

Week 12 - 2.5 Pounds

Weigh in: 212.3 pounds
Total loss: 33 pounds

That is much better! Last week's gain is gone and anouther pound on top of that.

I forgot to do my measurements this month. So I'm just going to wait until the beginning of August.

Daughters and Weight Loss

This diet is taking place while my daughter is hitting a critical age. She just turned ten this summer and is starting to be very body conscious. Of course, this worries me as to how she will be warped by my dieting.

My mom was heavy while I was growing up. I remember her being on Weight Watchers and at a different time she did Nutrisystems. She lost a bunch of weight on each diet, but she always gained it back. Now I am following in her footsteps. She was beautiful and confident. She always dressed well to make the most of her shape. But as a child, people often said "Your mom is so pretty, if only she would lose weight." I often agreed. Not being heavy until later in my adult years, I didn't understand at the time what was stopping her.

I do realize now how hard it is. How your body fights you every step of the way. I can look back and realize that I have never really changed my eating. I dieted, then I went back to the way I was eating before the diet. I think that was her problem too. I never really learned to eat the vegetables and fruits that I am eating now. This may be the first time I am actually making a real, lasting change. (I hope!)

I've wished a lot lately that my mom was still alive to talk to about dieting. I would like to have heard her feelings about the subject rather than just my own fading memories of what she was like at different weights. And I talk to my own daughter about the diet I'm on so that it isn't some big mysterious thing that I am doing.

One of the first things I did was meet with my daughter's doctor and my daughter to discuss the reasons why I am on this diet. The doctor and I explained that I need to do this for my health and not to look prettier. (It is definitely a benefit that I don't complain about though.) The doctor discussed my daughter's weight (which is low) with her. She gave her the goal to gain a couple of pounds before her next visit. We discussed all of the healthy things she could eat that would help her feel less hungry and give her more energy such as cheese, fruit and yogurt. She dances almost seven hours a week and has a hard time keeping her weight on. I don't want her to get the idea that thinner is better. Healthy is better.

We met with her doctor again this week. My daughter had gained two pounds. She was very proud of herself. It was such a foreign thought to me, but I was excited to see that her mind is in the right place. My diet has become so common for her that it wasn't even mentioned during the visit.

Now if only I could get her to eat more vegetables...

Week 11 - (+) 1.6 pounds

Weigh in: 214.8 pounds
Total loss: 30.5 pounds

A gain! Wow. Hmm. I have no excuse for that. I would be upset and try to find a reason if I hadn't stepped on the scale first thing this morning and seen a new low. Just goes to show that the time of day and other factors really do matter in weighing in.

We went to Chicago for a trip this last weekend. I managed to eat in the box in spite of being in a different place. I made shakes in my hotel room. I ate fresh fruits and vegetables whenever we went anywhere. I didn't have access to a microwave to heat up my entrees, so I skipped them on Friday. I ate two of them late Saturday when we got home. All in all, I did the best I possibly could have to stay on plan.

It is a real disappointment when you work that hard and don't show a loss at weigh in time. I feel like I was so... virtuous, I guess. And good things should come to people who are being good, right?

This week in class we discussed looking at the past 4 weeks as a whole instead of judging ourselves on our weekly weigh in. That puts me at 3.3 pounds lost while I was doing the transition to Healthy Solutions. During this time, my body has been refilling my glycogen stores and putting back some of the water that came off in the beginning.

My body should pretty much be done with that adjustment and the weight should start coming off again.

Week 10 - 3.1 pounds

Weigh in: 213.2 pounds
Total loss: 32.1 pounds

A little haiku for you:

my weight loss is great
i still have to work at it
new pants fit my butt

Week 9 - .4 pounds

Weigh in: 216.3 pounds
Total loss: 29 pounds

I was actually expecting a gain. Hmmm. A loss is much better than a gain. Between adding vegetables (yum!) back into the diet and it being "that time", I didn't think I would lose any weight this week. The good news is that next week should be a big loss.

So I was walking down the hall at work earlier today. I'm wearing a pair of white cargo capris and a pink t-shirt. I put my hands in the pockets of my pants... and they nearly fell off my body. They slipped right past my hipbones and would have kept going if I hadn't pulled them back up with my hands still stuck in the pockets. I'm thinking two things: 1- I'm definately thinner than last summer when I wore these pants to Lollapalooza and 2 - it might be time for some new pants.

Random Babble

* I changed hair color brands and unintentionally managed to give myself maroon highlights. It looks kind of cool though.

* Edamame is awesome!

* Vegetables make you gassy.

* I'm looking really good today.

* Paying bills sucks.

* The weather lately in central Illinois has been perfect.

* Time to take a walk

Sorry, folks, I just don't have anything to say today.

Week 8 - 1.4 pounds

Weigh in: 216.7 pounds
Total loss: 28.6 pounds

It didn't get any easier. I fought the cravings for about four days. I didn't get in enough exercise this weekend. I could either fight the cravings or fight the laziness, but not both. So I gave up the exercise for the weekend, but stayed on the diet plan and didn't cheat.

I called my weight loss counselor on Monday and told her about the near constant cravings that I was having. She suggested that I start to transition to the next step of the diet. I may not lose weight as quickly, but I will get to eat some real food.

This week I get to add two vegetable portions and two HMR Entrees to my daily plan. I cut back my shakes to three a day. This seems like an absolutely huge amount of food to me. But it still comes in at around 900 calories a day.

They did counsel me to only eat cooked vegetables this week. My digestive system isn't ready to handle raw vegetables yet. Next week I get to add in raw vegetables in 1/2 cup portions and a fruit serving. But no citrus fruit or pineapple at first. By the fourth week I will be up to 5 fruit and vegetable servings each day, plus the two entrees, and three shakes. A huge volume of food, still under 1200 calories a day.

Once I get past the four weeks of transition, I will get to choose whether I want to stay on this plan for awhile. They call it the Healthy Solutions diet. What I was on before is called the Decision Free diet. My other option is to continue transitioning by adding grains and lean proteins to my diet and eliminating the entrees. I would be considered on the Maintenance portion of the program. I would still have meetings and would most likely continue to lose weight.

I made it through 8 weeks of the Decision Free diet with only one bite out of the box. I would like to do at least 8 weeks of the Healthy Solutions diet. That would still give me plenty of time to transition to Mainetenance before our trip to Disney World in September.

That is the plan. Everyone ready to help me stick to it?

Today is hard

I want to eat. Food. Real food.

I've had three shakes. I'm not really hungry. And yet I want to eat.

Here is a list of the foods that I want:

Chinese Food (specifically General Tso's Chicken or Cashew Chicken)
A Burrito (either from La Bamba or Chipotle)
Pizza
A Cheeseburger
French Fries
A Gyro

I'm not going to eat any of these things today. Probably I'm not going to eat any of these things in the next two months. But right now, I'll just say that I'm not going to eat them today and worry about tomorrow when it happens. Maybe I won't want them tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow will be one of the easy days. But today is hard.

Week 7 - 2.4 pounds

Weigh in: 218.1 pounds
Total loss: 27.2 pounds

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

I have five more weeks of this before I will start the transition back to real food. We are studying different foods and ways to estimate their calories in class. We are also looking at ways that we can eat high volumes of food to feel satisfied without loading up on the calories. It is, of course, all about the types of foods that you choose to eat. You can eat a lot more fruit and vegetables than muffins or pizza. But memorizing the math is still helpful.

I need to make the next five weeks really count. I should continue to lose weight through the transition too, but it won't be as easy as it is right now. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

History

I wasn't always overweight. A brief timeline of my weight fluctuations, based on my own somewhat faulty memory:

As a kid: Normal, didn't ever think about it
Jr. High: Size 6 when all my friends were size 4 (I was also 3-4 inches taller than most of them)

At 16: I weighed 135. (I lied on my driver's license and put 125 - the issues start early, people!)
At 18: I still weighed 135.

At 20: I got down to 120 on the ever popular "break up + stomach flu diet"
At 21: Gained it back plus an extra 10 to graduate college around 145. (This is also when my doctor first started testing my thyroid. It was failing, but not enough yet to medicate.)

22-23: Drank a lot, forgot most of that time. Don't think I gained anything.

24: Started dating Drew. He says I was a hottie. I've got pictures. I was a hottie! 145 still.

25-26: Slowly. Very slowly. Gained about 40 pounds. Happy=Fat

27: Lost most of that before the wedding. I'm guessing I was 165.

28-29: Gained another 20 pounds. And then got pregnant with my daughter.

30: Had the baby. Can't remember what my pregnancy high was, but I know it was over 200. Finally went on thyroid medication.

31: Lost most of the pregnancy weight, but not all of the weight before that.

32: I was at about 190 when I got pregnant with my son. Gained even more pregnancy weight.

33: Had the baby. Didn't lose all of the weight as easily this time. Stayed over 210.

34: Started running. Lost weight and got in shape. Ran a 5K at around 195.

35-36: Slowly gained again. This time to top off around 230.

37: Lost about 25 pounds, running again. Had breast reduction (another 3 pounds).

38: Had to stop running due to plantar faciitis. Gained again.

39: This brings us to now. Topped at 249.5 and decided to do the HMR Diet.

So really, I can totally blame my weight on my husband and kids. It doesn't have anything to do with my own poor food choices or lack of discipline. Right?

My Virtual Model

This is a virtual model of me at my heighest weight:

This is a virtual model of me at my current weight of 220:

Stats Update #3

Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 220.5
BMI: 33.4 (Still officially obese)

Upper Arm: 14.5" (lost 1/2 an inch this month, 1.5 total)
Chest: 44.5" (lost 2 inches this month, 3.5 total)
Waist: 41" (lost 3 inches this month, 4 total)
Hips: 43" (lost 1.5 inches this month, 3 total)
Thigh: 25.5" (lost 1.5 inches this month, 1.5 total)
Calf: 15.5 (lost 1 inch this month, 1.5 total)

Total lost inches this month: 9.5 (Um...wow!)
Total lost since the start: 15

My little guy was right. I have gotten skinnier. Or at least, less fat.

I'm down from size 18 pants to size 16. My shirts are looser. People have started to notice and comment on my weight loss. So far, everyone that has commented has known that I am dieting. I'm waiting for someone who doesn't know to notice. Most people are probably too polite to mention it anyway.

I've lost this same thirty pounds or so a few times before. I've been close to 200 pounds in 2002 and 2006 that I can remember. I think the last time that I was under that was around the time that my daughter was born. And she's ten. So while this first chunk has been nice to lose, the next 25 pounds are more significant to me.

I'm still trying to avoid guessing what my final weight will be, but I would like to start celebrating some milestones. So I will set myself a mini-goal. I want to see 199.5. This is the first of a few goals, not the final magic number. At 199.5, I will have lost 50 pounds from my highest weight and will be lower than any time in the last 10 years. I think that is a good starting place for the rest of the diet.

Tomorrow

Or maybe, you'll have to wait an extra day for the measurements update. I forgot to do them last night.

Sorry to disappoint the readers... all two of them..

Week 6 - 6.6 pounds (Evil?)

Weigh in: 220.5 pounds
Total loss: 24.8 pounds

That is almost a pound a day! Crazy and impossible, but fun to see on the scale. It only happened because I didn't lose much last week.

I'll be taking my measurements tonight for an update tomorrow. From the comments I'm getting, I'll guess that I lost a lot around my chest and waist this month.

In the meantime, some other numbers that are impressive:

My blood pressure is down from 150/94 at the beginning of the program to 118/74 yesterday.

My overall cholesterol number is down from 189 to 136 in only six weeks of the diet.

Those numbers are just as important as the ones above showing the weight loss. :)

Stuck in the Middle

In the begining, there is the diet. And everything you do or think involves the diet. You are obsessed. You read everything you can. You think about it constantly. You talk about it to anyone who will listen.

Then a few weeks go by and there is nothing left to say. Yeah, I'm still on it. Yes, it is still working. Um...

Especially with the HMR diet. It isn't even like I can describe an amazing meal that I have made:

"Made another shake. It was vanilla. Wooo!"

I'm doing fine. I'm not even really bored of the shakes yet. This is just the middle part. There isn't much to do except make a shake, drink the shake, exercise, repeat.

Book Recommendation

Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think

by Brian Wansink

I really enjoyed reading this book. The author has conducted lots of experiments on how we are fooled by marketing and our own brains into eating more than we should. Serving size, plate size, variety of foods, color variety, and even language can affect the amount of food we eat and how satisfied or dissatisfied we feel. At the very least, an awareness of these things should help a little towards controlling the volume of food that we mindlessly put into our mouths.

His advice toward dieting is sound, but a little too slow moving for me. If I was only a little heavy or if I was trying to maintain, his tips would be more relevant. Once I'm back on regular food, I will definitely try to use some of his ideas to keep the weight off.

Week 5 - .2 pounds

Weigh in: 227.1
Total loss: 18.2

No. I didn't cheat on the diet. I've got PMS bloat. Just part of the fun of being female. My doctor said that most of the women on the diet have the same thing happen. Then next week should be a big loss. That is something to look forward to.

I've hit a comfort level with the diet. I don't really crave other foods. I'm pretty satisfied overall with the amount of calories I'm getting. I'm into a decent routine with my exercise. Now, I just need to hang in there for about 7 more weeks. After that I go through an adjustment phase where I gradually get back regular foods. Then the hard part begins... maintenance.

Every week they tell us that this is the easy part. Maintenance is hard work. They are starting to educate us about calorie control and portion size. One of the keys to success will be eating volumes of healthy foods (like fruits and veggies) with small portions of protein and grains. I will need to come up with some new vegetable options to try. I'm looking forward to trying some vegetarian recipes too. I'm determined to make this work.

Week 4 - 4.5 Pounds

Weigh in: 227.3 pounds
Total loss: 18 pounds

Wooo!

My little boy, who is 6, has declared the diet a success. I had no idea what he was judging the success by until last night. He found that he can put his arms all the way around me and his hands touch. This, to him, is success! Works for me.

More is Better

During the HMR Diet classes, they tell you that sometimes you have to practice a thing they call "More is Better." In my straightforward and mathmatical mind, the less you eat and the more you exercise, the faster you will lose weight. Well, sometimes that isn't true.

As I've mentioned, our bodies have about a million different variants to how they run. Sometimes fewer calories means that your body reacts and lowers your metabolism. The exercise helps to counter balance that. The other thing that can raise your metabolism? Eating more.

But I want to lose weight as fast as I can. How can eating more help? Two ways.

One - through the magic of body chemistry itself. If your body is eating the same number of calories every day, it gets used to that and sets the metabolism accordingly. So eating a little higher on the calorie scale will cause the body to turn up the furnace and burn more to compensate. Since my typical day on HMR involves getting about 600 calories. A More is Better day might involve having about 900-1000 calories. (Still well below my caloric needs in any given day.)

Two - by keeping me on plan. Sundays seem to be a hard day for me on the plan. I'm more dissatisfied by my options on Sunday. I crave "real" food on Sundays. So I designated this Sunday a More is Better day. In addition to my regular five shakes, I had two "pumpkin cookies" and an HMR Entree. My total calorie intake was about 950. Yet I felt like I had really splurged. I was able to stay on plan and not eat something "out of the box" by eating more of the stuff that I am allowed to eat. Brilliant.

And this morning... the scale was down by three pounds. While I know it isn't possible to lose three pounds of fat in one day, it seemed like a sign to me that I did the right thing with the More is Better.

Tomorrow we will see what effect a root canal has on weight loss. What fun!

Week 3 - 2 Pounds

Weigh in: 231.8 pounds
Total loss: 13.5 pounds

Hmmm. Must be retaining some water. Oh well, it will work itself out.

Because I'm on such an intense, low calorie diet, it is easy to set myself up for unrealistic expectations for weight loss each week. In class, they stress that everyone has big loss weeks and small loss weeks. Our bodies are these amazing machines that have a million different variables controlling our water and fat content. We can do all the math in the world to predict what should happen, but that doesn't mean our bodies have to perform in that way.

I was predicted to lose four pounds this week. Instead I lost two. Maybe I didn't drink enough water. Maybe I drank too much water too soon to weighing in. Who knows. It really doesn't matter. It was a loss.

I've been on other diets before. A two pound loss on most diets would be a great loss. On this diet I can expect between two and five pounds per week. That is why I chose the HMR diet. Mentally, I need this to go faster than a regular diet. At least for the first 30-50 pounds. Then I will slow down and work on the lifestyle change necessary to keep it off.

So all in all, I'm happy with my progress.

Perfectionism

Dieting and perfectionism are like best friends who are also worst enemies.

I've read over and over that you shouldn't let perfectionism rule you when you are on a diet. It can set up a situation where you feel that not being perfect equals failure. This isn't healthy for a long term "lifestyle change." You need to be able to eat off plan and then get right back on.

Most of the perfectionists that I know would eat one thing off plan and then decide they had totally blown it. And as long as they've blown it, they might as well blow it big time and eat more off plan. This turns into a binge. Sometimes it brings the entire diet to an end.

That is why most diets will encourage you to not give in to the temptation of perfectionism.

The HMR diet is kind of the opposite. They seem at this point to be all about staying perfectly on the plan. They only guarantee the results if you don't eat anything "outside the box." Which means staying within their range of diet food products: shakes, puddings, soups, etc.

The perfectionist in me LOVES the HMR diet. I can boast of not eating one bite off the plan...
until last night.

Last night, the kids were bickering while I was trying to make dinner for them. (Nothing new!) I had dropped something and made a mess I had to clean up. The dog had made a different type of mess for me to clean up. I was trying to help my son get his homework done. My daughter was in trouble for telling a lie about her homework. My husband wasn't home, so I couldn't hand over the reins to him while I got my brain under control. And I was hungry.

It was like there was this whirlwind going around in my mind. The only solution my mind could come up with was to eat. Something. Anything. Right now.

So when my son asked me to cut up his pancake (yes, I made pancakes for dinner), I asked him if I could have a bite. And I ate one bite. I was then tempted to make an entire pancake for myself and just give in. But I didn't. I made a "pumpkin cookie" and ate it. Then I made another one and ate it. And then I was back in control.

Now my mind is going back and forth in a battle over how to interpret this episode. One part of me wants congratulations for this feat of Herculean strength in not giving in to the binge. But my inner perfectionist is trying to beat me up for taking the one bite at all.

And truly, if I had planned on breaking my perfect streak, I would have picked something better than a pancake. So there is a third voice chiming in with all the other foods I could have chosen for that one bite. That voice is the one to watch out for since it is going to try to convince me to take a second bite sometime soon. Maybe I'll just tell that voice that I have to do another perfect three weeks before I can have another "off" bite.

FYI - I e-mailed my HMR counselor and told her about the situation. She was pleased with the way I solved the problem and got back on plan immediately. I'm glad that I "confessed" instead of hiding it and pretending to be perfect.

Updated Stats

I missed my first of the month stats report because I forgot to do the measurements until last night.

Height: 5' 8" (I'm pretty sure this won't change)
Weight: 233.8 (at last HMR weigh in - my scale shows much better already)
BMI: 35 (Down from 38)

Upper Arm: 15" (lost 1 inch)
Chest: 46.5" (lost 1.5 inches)
Waist: 44" (lost 1 inch)
Hips: 44.5 (lost 1.5 inches)
Thigh: 27" (stayed the same - damn)
Calf: 16.5" (lost .5 inch)

Total lost inches this month: 5.5 inches!

I had no idea until I looked at my Beginning Stats post that I had lost any size at all. I'm very excited about those changes. I like that the numbers are pretty uniform too. I'm not losing it all in one place. Just an overall shrinkage.

Progress is being made!

Week 2 - 6.3 Pounds

Weigh in: 233.8 pounds
Total Lost: 11.5 pounds

Awesome!

Looking around the class at the other people following the diet, the biggest changes show up in the face first. Everyone looks a little less puffy. The other women have complained that they are losing it in their boobs first. Not me, but I'm kind of amazing that way. Hee Hee.

The physical activity challenge for this week is going to be really hard for me. One day this week, I'm supposed to get up early and do my exercise in the morning. Ouch!

I am not a morning person. At all. Ever.

I've been taking 15 minute walks at 10:30 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. in order to give my metabolism a boost during the day. The remainder of my exercise is done at night. Usually after the kids get to bed at 8:30 p.m. Now I have to schedule a morning workout on the treadmill.

To be realistic, there is no way I will get up at 6 a.m. to work out on a weekday. I think I will schedule my morning workout for Saturday. I will get up by 8 a.m. and get my workout done before I have to drive my daughter to her dance class.

Making a plan should help me succeed.

Pumpkin Cookie

I'm in a little bit better mood today about the diet. I tried something new from the HMR Recipes. I tried to make the Pumpkin Cookie Recipe. Now in my mind, a pumpkin cookie would look something like one of these:

My "Pumpkin Cookie" looked more like a crepe:

Of course, I ate it anyway. And it tasted pretty good. And more importantly, it was solid. As in not liquid. I've made a small list of some of the ingredients I will need to make more of the solid treats in the recipe book.

And for the record, my pants are a little loose today.

Hunger or Craving or Boredom

I'm hungry or something. I'm definitely craving food. I found myself thinking about a slice of bread and how good that would taste. I don't think that I am actually, physically hungry. I can always drink another shake and take care of that. Someone at work made toast and the smell is what started the mental combat. First I will write about it. Then in fifteen minutes, I will go for a walk. After that I will make a shake. That should get me past this struggle.

I made it through the weekend OK. I had a little grumpiness over not being able to eat, but I got over it. This is a choice that I am making. I'm not being forced to do it. The rewards will be worth it. I fully expect to have a decent loss at the weigh in tomorrow. That will renew my willpower for a few days.

At class last week, they gave me a packet of recipes to try with the shake mixes. Some of them, I can bake into a type of treat. I will try to make one tonight and post the results tomorrow. Maybe having a little variety in texture will help. I have a bunch of different flavor options and that has worked so far. I just need to think of other ways to get me past the shake boredom. I'm only on week 2. I've got a long way to go.

Popular

I've had three friends call this week and ask me to go to lunch with them. Hmmm. While it is nice to be popular, it kind of forced me into telling them all about my diet. I would have liked to wait a couple of more weeks before explaining it so I could show a little progress first. Oh well.

One of the hardest things about the HMR diet is that I can't just go to a restaurant and order a salad. With most other diets, I could pass it off as just eating healthy. With HMR, I have to explain that no, really, I can't eat anything, anywhere. And then comes the inevitable "Is that healthy?" question. Yes, it is healthy. Yes, I am being monitored by a doctor, etc.

All three friends were supportive and completely understood that I would rather not sit in a restaurant drinking diet coke and watching them eat. We are trying to arrange some lunches where we take walks together instead. I get the pleasure of their company and the side benefit of calories burned.

I knew it wouldn't be possible to keep a diet this drastic a secret, but I think I was a little bit in denial. I'm still not going to be telling every passing stranger, but maybe I need to lighten up about telling my friends and family. Maybe.

Week 1 - 5.2 pounds

I weighed in at 240.1 this week. Down 5.2 pounds from last week. I didn't get the dramatic first week weight loss because I had already been dieting for two weeks. I had lost my initial water weight already, so this is almost all fat. Gone.

In class we learned some interesting math to help show what is "real" weight lost and what is water. My math showed that only .6 of my loss was water weight. As my weight goes down, I will have to increase my exercise to get the same kind of loss each week. The math allows me to figure out how much additional exercise I will need to do this.

Do I feel any different? Not really. I feel a little less bloated. I guess my face looks a little thinner. In a couple of weeks, I'm probably going to need some new jeans. That will be progress!

Temptation

Let me tell you about the "events" I had to attend this week and how I dealt with them on the first week of my new diet.

Wednesday I attended a BBQ for the last night of our church youth club. There were hamburgers and hot dogs, which didn't really call to me since I was on the first day of the diet and feeling rather strong. The hardest part was that there was a basket full of green and red grapes and another full of carrot sticks. Tempted by the fruit? Yes. I knew I couldn't have the fattening stuff, but it was a new sensation to know that I wasn't able to eat even the healthy choices. I stayed "in the box" and didn't eat anything at all. I told the others at the table that I had dinner plans for later. I did...they involved a shake.

Thursday I had a sit down banquet for the scholarship and award winners for work. I'm in charge of the banquet. I get to play hostess and also stand on a stage to help pass out the plaques and certificates. The dinner looked and smelled delicious! I gave my chicken to a hungry guy sitting near me. He traded me his empty plate for my full one so it would look like I had already eaten. I told everyone that I was too nervous to eat before the presentations. I also left the dinner for a little while to help calm a fussy baby in the lobby. Anything to get away from watching other people eat.

Sunday we were invited to a going away party for a good friend who is moving to Austin, Texas. (Lucky him!) I thought about skipping the party entirely since it was being held at a pizza place. Pizza is probably my number 1 favorite food. But I didn't skip it. I actually went early to help another friend hold the tables until the rest of the people could come. That helped. I told her about my program and she was very interested and supportive. I drank two shakes before I left so that I wouldn't feel hungry. That helped for the first couple of hours. While my family ate, I moved around a lot and chatted with different people who were already finished eating. I helped my kids play games and trade in their tickets for prizes. No one noticed that I hadn't eaten, so I didn't need to explain myself to anyone else.

That was an awful lot of temptation to handle in the first week of the diet. I made it through, but there were times I thought I was going to grab a piece of pizza in spite of everything.

Even walking through the grocery store on Saturday was a strange, new experience. I went to buy flavorings for my shakes, but felt like I was in a forbidden place. I was very conscious of the fact that I can not eat anything at all. Even the produce section is off limits.

And how bad is it that I thought communion on Sunday tasted GREAT?

Numbers

I realized yesterday that I have a little discrepancy in my numbers. There is the starting number that I gave a couple of weeks ago, 247. And there is the starting number which is my weigh in at HMR, 245.3.

There is also the weight that I am each morning when I weigh myself...naked. And there is the weight that they give me at the end of my day...fully clothed. (About 1 1/2 pound difference.)

Obviously, my morning weight is more flattering and I like that one better. But for simplicity, I'm going to only report the weekly weigh in at HMR.

I'm not setting any goals right now. I need to see where I am in 12 weeks, and evaluate from there. Of course, I have both realistic and dream numbers in my head. I just don't want to be disappointed if I don't make it all the way to the dream number or be tempted to stop short if I hit the realistic number too soon.

I think I'm going to stop writing about numbers now before my head explodes.

Day 1 - For Real

After what seemed like a long wait to me, I am officially on the Decision Free Very Low Calorie HMR Diet. I will be drinking nothing but shakes for the next 12 weeks or however long it takes me to lose the weight I need to lose.

The information from my blood tests and EKG is good. Almost all of my numbers are in healthy range. I am a little high on the LDL Cholesterol (the bad stuff), but my overall cholesterol number was still under the limit for normal. My blood pressure is a little high lately too, but the diet will take care of that pretty quickly. So I don't have any major health obstacles to overcome with the diet. That is good to know.

The class was fine. They taught us (me and two other new women) all the different types of numbers we are going to have to keep track of. I thought this was going to be easy. Drink the shakes. Don't eat anything else. Simple. What is there to keep track of? Well, they want details. What flavor shake did I have and when did I drink it? What kind of exercise and I doing, for how long, at what intensity and when? All the little numbers go into neat little boxes on a form and the numbers are tallied for the weekly class posting. Yes, Virginia, you have to tell others what you did for the week. A little public pride/shame never hurt anybody.

I won't be posting all the boring little numbers on the blog. Although, it is very satifying to fill in the little boxes in my journal. It just isn't interesting enough for blogland. I will say that today is going fine and the chocolate shake mixed with some fat-free sugar-free cheesecake flavored pudding is a little slice of heaven. Yum.

The Cheese Binge

My first weigh in and class for the HMR Diet is tomorrow afternoon. Since I will be on nothing but shakes for the next 12 weeks, I have been allowing myself somewhat of a binge. I'm trying to get some of the things that I think I might crave out of the way. Salty, cheesy things. I'm not craving sweets because the shakes take care of that.

I had a big fat cheeseburger on Saturday, and a grilled cheese sandwich last night. Today, I had nachos with meat and cheese. There seems to be a cheese theme going on with my binge. Tonight my husband is making me spaghetti with garlic bread for my "last meal."

I feel like I am cheating on my diet already, but I have to remind myself that I haven't actually started yet. I'm excited about my first class tomorrow and meeting with my regular counselor. I'm also interested to hear the results of my blood tests and EKG. Getting healthy is as much the goal as getting thin.

HMR Diet - The Physical

Today I had the initial physical and blood work done in order to be allowed to start the diet. The RN was great and thorough. She explained that I will meet with either her or the doctor each week before my class. They will be watching me very closely throughout this process to make sure that everything is going right. They took blood today for a multitude of tests. And I got my first EKG. The tests they are running are more extensive than my annual exam with my primary care physician.

I have a strange reaction when meeting with medical people. I always want to joke and make them laugh. I downplay any feelings about my weight with humor. I caught myself a couple of times with the nurse today. Maybe I'm just naturally a clown, but I am beginning to see that I use it to distract from the seriousness of my weight problem. This is a more acceptable reaction than breaking down into tears every time someone mentions it, but still...

After the nurse, I met with one of the weight loss counselors. We went over my past weight history and my eating and exercise habits. We discussed the necessity for physical activity with the diet. She said that it is in my favor that I wasn't heavy as a child or teenager. My body will "remember" a time when it wasn't fat and it will be easier for it to adjust to the new weight. Overall they seem very positive that they can help me lose the weight and teach me how to keep it off.

Inspiration

Today I'm getting inspired by reading the stories of other people's weight loss. I started with the article about the winner of the Biggest Loser show. I have to admit that I have never watched it, but have been secretly drawn to it. I guess I haven't wanted my family to make the comparison between the contestants on the show and me.

Then I found this link and have been reading all of the stories for people who have lost over 100 pounds. I identified with some of these people quite a lot.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21627769/?pg=1#TDY_Joy_Fit_Club_MAIN_Apr08

I love reading anything that will inspire me and keep me on track. Suggestions for books or websites are welcome.

Update - Not quite Week 1

Weight: 242.5
Loss: 4.5 pounds
BMI: 36.9

I'm not really counting the weeks, since I haven't actually started the HMR Diet yet. When I go to drinking the shakes full-time, I will count from there. Right now, anything I lose is just less that I have to lose later.

That being said, I'm pretty happy with the weight loss this week. I drank the three shakes each day and ate dinner with my family each night. There was even a night of drinking martinis in there. I worked out five out of seven days. I walked 30-45 minutes, except Tuesday night when I counted my horseback riding as exercise. (Anyone who doesn't ride should believe me that it can be serious exercise.)

The beginning of any diet is always exciting. The weight comes off faster at first and it seems so easy. Hopefully, with the Decision Free diet, it will continue at about 5 pounds per week. If so, it will be worth the sacrifice.

New Shoes

There is nothing like the joy of new running shoes. Unless maybe it is the joy of soft new socks. If my feet are happy, I guess I am too.

My feet haven't really been happy for about two years (and 50 pounds). I used to run. Or more accurately, I used to jog. I would go down into my basement and work out on the treadmill 4-5 days a week. I had worked myself up to about 15-20 miles a week. Not bad.

Then I developed plantar fasciitis. I was told to wear Birkenstocks, do stretching, use ice packs, take huge amounts of ibuprofen, and stay off my feet. For six months. Or a year.

Fast forward about a year and a half. Of course, I gained more weight. And I'm trying to lose it. And I need to exercise. Once you get out of the habit of exercising, it is really difficult to find that time again. But I'm trying. Hard.

The HMR Diet has an exercise component. I am supposed to do 2000 calories worth of exercise each week. This should help boost my metabolism and stop my body from eating the muscle instead of the fat on my super low calorie diet.

I have decided to make friends with my treadmill again. I know that if I start to run again, my feet will instantly start to hurt. So I am walking. And to motivate myself, I bought new shoes.

HMR at Home - So far, so good

I decided last week to do the HMR at Home program until I could get my physical and start the Decision Free part of the diet. So basically, I'm allowed three shakes a day, plus five fruits and vegetables, and a lean dinner.

In my eagerness to begin, I have considered just drinking more shakes and making it like the Decision Free. Luckily, I haven't done that. I like having a meal to look forward to as I adjust to my new program. It has been fairly easy to just drink the shakes during the day. I must admit, that I am not getting in five fruits and vegetables. The shakes are filling me up enough that I am not looking for snacks.

In the morning, I put the vanilla shake mix into my coffee as creamer. It tastes OK and get me through until about 11:00 a.m. when I start to feel hungry. I'm trying to not get into a habit of eating or drinking at a certain time. I am trying to wait until I feel the hunger. So far I am finding that I am hungry around 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. That third shake lasts me until I have a light dinner with my family. I could probably follow the program like this for a really long time. This may be what maintenance looks like for me.

I realize that I will have to make a lifestyle change. Blah, blah, heard it before. My plan at this time is to continue to weigh myself every day after I get to my goal. If I'm up more than a couple of pounds, I will do the shakes until I'm back down. If I stay on top of it that closely, I shouldn't have to go through any of this again.

I know I'm a little ahead of myself thinking about maintenance before I've even got the weight off. There just isn't that much to focus on when all you do is drink shakes and exercise.

Beginning Stats

How many ways to show that I am fat?

Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 247 pounds
BMI: 38

Upper Arm: 16"
Chest: 48"
Waist: 45"
Hips: 46"
Thigh: 27"
Calf: 17"

I'll try to update the weight weekly and I'll try to update the measurements on the first of each month.

Frustration with Delay

I went to the Orientation meeting for the HMR Diet today. I'm pretty excited about the plan. I need the structure of a "Decision Free" plan. If I don't have to make any choices, I can't make any bad choices. Only one major setback... I can't start for almost three weeks.

I have to have a complete physical and the one I had in November from my own doctor does not count. So the earliest I can do that is April 17th. The first class that I can attend to start the program is April 22nd. I'm motivated NOW. And with a cronic dieter, that is important to act upon.

I could potentially spend the next three weeks eating like every meal is my last. Possibly gaining another 5 pounds in the process. So I decided to do something else instead. I signed up for the HMR at Home plan for the next two weeks. I can start it now. It isn't the plan that I want to follow and it won't show as drastic results, but it will ease me into the program until I can get the physical and start. And I may be a few pounds down by then.

Maybe it will be a postitive. Maybe it will let my body adjust to a lower calorie/lower fat diet without having to go cold turkey. Three shakes during the day with five fruits and vegetables and a reasonable meal at night. Seems simple enough.

I will start tomorrow. That means I need to do some measurements and picture taking tonight. And I need to find my shake mixer. :)

HMR Diet - Research & Contemplation

I'm thinking about weight loss (again). I've done this before and had relative levels of success. I've done Weight Watchers and LA Weightloss. Now I'm ready to try something new, something a little drastic. I'm at my heaviest (non-pregnant) weight. I would like to lose weight, but I suffer from impatience. I don't want to wait a year or two to see the results. I want something that will work fast enough to keep my interest and motivation.

The HMR diet is run through my local health care clinic and involves mostly liquid replacement meals. It promises fast results and no decisions to make for the first 13 weeks. It is medically supervised. I'm attending an orientation session for it tomorrow and I will know more at that time. Right now I have just been doing multiple web searches for information. There is a serious lack of what I am looking for: Real people sharing their HMR diet experiences. So maybe I will try.

This brings up new questions for myself. Do I post with absolute honestly? Height, Weight, BMI, Measurements? If I did that, I would not necessarily want to share that information with friends and family. (I guess absolute strangers are OK though.) Do I play coy with the numbers just so I can let my friends and family read the blog? Hmmm. What about pictures? I would love to post some before, progress, and after shots. Again, maybe I wouldn't want to share the pictures that would be most motivating to me. (The ones where I look the worst.)

For now, I will continue to research and contemplate.