Week 1 - 5.2 pounds

I weighed in at 240.1 this week. Down 5.2 pounds from last week. I didn't get the dramatic first week weight loss because I had already been dieting for two weeks. I had lost my initial water weight already, so this is almost all fat. Gone.

In class we learned some interesting math to help show what is "real" weight lost and what is water. My math showed that only .6 of my loss was water weight. As my weight goes down, I will have to increase my exercise to get the same kind of loss each week. The math allows me to figure out how much additional exercise I will need to do this.

Do I feel any different? Not really. I feel a little less bloated. I guess my face looks a little thinner. In a couple of weeks, I'm probably going to need some new jeans. That will be progress!

Temptation

Let me tell you about the "events" I had to attend this week and how I dealt with them on the first week of my new diet.

Wednesday I attended a BBQ for the last night of our church youth club. There were hamburgers and hot dogs, which didn't really call to me since I was on the first day of the diet and feeling rather strong. The hardest part was that there was a basket full of green and red grapes and another full of carrot sticks. Tempted by the fruit? Yes. I knew I couldn't have the fattening stuff, but it was a new sensation to know that I wasn't able to eat even the healthy choices. I stayed "in the box" and didn't eat anything at all. I told the others at the table that I had dinner plans for later. I did...they involved a shake.

Thursday I had a sit down banquet for the scholarship and award winners for work. I'm in charge of the banquet. I get to play hostess and also stand on a stage to help pass out the plaques and certificates. The dinner looked and smelled delicious! I gave my chicken to a hungry guy sitting near me. He traded me his empty plate for my full one so it would look like I had already eaten. I told everyone that I was too nervous to eat before the presentations. I also left the dinner for a little while to help calm a fussy baby in the lobby. Anything to get away from watching other people eat.

Sunday we were invited to a going away party for a good friend who is moving to Austin, Texas. (Lucky him!) I thought about skipping the party entirely since it was being held at a pizza place. Pizza is probably my number 1 favorite food. But I didn't skip it. I actually went early to help another friend hold the tables until the rest of the people could come. That helped. I told her about my program and she was very interested and supportive. I drank two shakes before I left so that I wouldn't feel hungry. That helped for the first couple of hours. While my family ate, I moved around a lot and chatted with different people who were already finished eating. I helped my kids play games and trade in their tickets for prizes. No one noticed that I hadn't eaten, so I didn't need to explain myself to anyone else.

That was an awful lot of temptation to handle in the first week of the diet. I made it through, but there were times I thought I was going to grab a piece of pizza in spite of everything.

Even walking through the grocery store on Saturday was a strange, new experience. I went to buy flavorings for my shakes, but felt like I was in a forbidden place. I was very conscious of the fact that I can not eat anything at all. Even the produce section is off limits.

And how bad is it that I thought communion on Sunday tasted GREAT?

Numbers

I realized yesterday that I have a little discrepancy in my numbers. There is the starting number that I gave a couple of weeks ago, 247. And there is the starting number which is my weigh in at HMR, 245.3.

There is also the weight that I am each morning when I weigh myself...naked. And there is the weight that they give me at the end of my day...fully clothed. (About 1 1/2 pound difference.)

Obviously, my morning weight is more flattering and I like that one better. But for simplicity, I'm going to only report the weekly weigh in at HMR.

I'm not setting any goals right now. I need to see where I am in 12 weeks, and evaluate from there. Of course, I have both realistic and dream numbers in my head. I just don't want to be disappointed if I don't make it all the way to the dream number or be tempted to stop short if I hit the realistic number too soon.

I think I'm going to stop writing about numbers now before my head explodes.

Day 1 - For Real

After what seemed like a long wait to me, I am officially on the Decision Free Very Low Calorie HMR Diet. I will be drinking nothing but shakes for the next 12 weeks or however long it takes me to lose the weight I need to lose.

The information from my blood tests and EKG is good. Almost all of my numbers are in healthy range. I am a little high on the LDL Cholesterol (the bad stuff), but my overall cholesterol number was still under the limit for normal. My blood pressure is a little high lately too, but the diet will take care of that pretty quickly. So I don't have any major health obstacles to overcome with the diet. That is good to know.

The class was fine. They taught us (me and two other new women) all the different types of numbers we are going to have to keep track of. I thought this was going to be easy. Drink the shakes. Don't eat anything else. Simple. What is there to keep track of? Well, they want details. What flavor shake did I have and when did I drink it? What kind of exercise and I doing, for how long, at what intensity and when? All the little numbers go into neat little boxes on a form and the numbers are tallied for the weekly class posting. Yes, Virginia, you have to tell others what you did for the week. A little public pride/shame never hurt anybody.

I won't be posting all the boring little numbers on the blog. Although, it is very satifying to fill in the little boxes in my journal. It just isn't interesting enough for blogland. I will say that today is going fine and the chocolate shake mixed with some fat-free sugar-free cheesecake flavored pudding is a little slice of heaven. Yum.

The Cheese Binge

My first weigh in and class for the HMR Diet is tomorrow afternoon. Since I will be on nothing but shakes for the next 12 weeks, I have been allowing myself somewhat of a binge. I'm trying to get some of the things that I think I might crave out of the way. Salty, cheesy things. I'm not craving sweets because the shakes take care of that.

I had a big fat cheeseburger on Saturday, and a grilled cheese sandwich last night. Today, I had nachos with meat and cheese. There seems to be a cheese theme going on with my binge. Tonight my husband is making me spaghetti with garlic bread for my "last meal."

I feel like I am cheating on my diet already, but I have to remind myself that I haven't actually started yet. I'm excited about my first class tomorrow and meeting with my regular counselor. I'm also interested to hear the results of my blood tests and EKG. Getting healthy is as much the goal as getting thin.

HMR Diet - The Physical

Today I had the initial physical and blood work done in order to be allowed to start the diet. The RN was great and thorough. She explained that I will meet with either her or the doctor each week before my class. They will be watching me very closely throughout this process to make sure that everything is going right. They took blood today for a multitude of tests. And I got my first EKG. The tests they are running are more extensive than my annual exam with my primary care physician.

I have a strange reaction when meeting with medical people. I always want to joke and make them laugh. I downplay any feelings about my weight with humor. I caught myself a couple of times with the nurse today. Maybe I'm just naturally a clown, but I am beginning to see that I use it to distract from the seriousness of my weight problem. This is a more acceptable reaction than breaking down into tears every time someone mentions it, but still...

After the nurse, I met with one of the weight loss counselors. We went over my past weight history and my eating and exercise habits. We discussed the necessity for physical activity with the diet. She said that it is in my favor that I wasn't heavy as a child or teenager. My body will "remember" a time when it wasn't fat and it will be easier for it to adjust to the new weight. Overall they seem very positive that they can help me lose the weight and teach me how to keep it off.

Inspiration

Today I'm getting inspired by reading the stories of other people's weight loss. I started with the article about the winner of the Biggest Loser show. I have to admit that I have never watched it, but have been secretly drawn to it. I guess I haven't wanted my family to make the comparison between the contestants on the show and me.

Then I found this link and have been reading all of the stories for people who have lost over 100 pounds. I identified with some of these people quite a lot.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21627769/?pg=1#TDY_Joy_Fit_Club_MAIN_Apr08

I love reading anything that will inspire me and keep me on track. Suggestions for books or websites are welcome.

Update - Not quite Week 1

Weight: 242.5
Loss: 4.5 pounds
BMI: 36.9

I'm not really counting the weeks, since I haven't actually started the HMR Diet yet. When I go to drinking the shakes full-time, I will count from there. Right now, anything I lose is just less that I have to lose later.

That being said, I'm pretty happy with the weight loss this week. I drank the three shakes each day and ate dinner with my family each night. There was even a night of drinking martinis in there. I worked out five out of seven days. I walked 30-45 minutes, except Tuesday night when I counted my horseback riding as exercise. (Anyone who doesn't ride should believe me that it can be serious exercise.)

The beginning of any diet is always exciting. The weight comes off faster at first and it seems so easy. Hopefully, with the Decision Free diet, it will continue at about 5 pounds per week. If so, it will be worth the sacrifice.

New Shoes

There is nothing like the joy of new running shoes. Unless maybe it is the joy of soft new socks. If my feet are happy, I guess I am too.

My feet haven't really been happy for about two years (and 50 pounds). I used to run. Or more accurately, I used to jog. I would go down into my basement and work out on the treadmill 4-5 days a week. I had worked myself up to about 15-20 miles a week. Not bad.

Then I developed plantar fasciitis. I was told to wear Birkenstocks, do stretching, use ice packs, take huge amounts of ibuprofen, and stay off my feet. For six months. Or a year.

Fast forward about a year and a half. Of course, I gained more weight. And I'm trying to lose it. And I need to exercise. Once you get out of the habit of exercising, it is really difficult to find that time again. But I'm trying. Hard.

The HMR Diet has an exercise component. I am supposed to do 2000 calories worth of exercise each week. This should help boost my metabolism and stop my body from eating the muscle instead of the fat on my super low calorie diet.

I have decided to make friends with my treadmill again. I know that if I start to run again, my feet will instantly start to hurt. So I am walking. And to motivate myself, I bought new shoes.

HMR at Home - So far, so good

I decided last week to do the HMR at Home program until I could get my physical and start the Decision Free part of the diet. So basically, I'm allowed three shakes a day, plus five fruits and vegetables, and a lean dinner.

In my eagerness to begin, I have considered just drinking more shakes and making it like the Decision Free. Luckily, I haven't done that. I like having a meal to look forward to as I adjust to my new program. It has been fairly easy to just drink the shakes during the day. I must admit, that I am not getting in five fruits and vegetables. The shakes are filling me up enough that I am not looking for snacks.

In the morning, I put the vanilla shake mix into my coffee as creamer. It tastes OK and get me through until about 11:00 a.m. when I start to feel hungry. I'm trying to not get into a habit of eating or drinking at a certain time. I am trying to wait until I feel the hunger. So far I am finding that I am hungry around 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. That third shake lasts me until I have a light dinner with my family. I could probably follow the program like this for a really long time. This may be what maintenance looks like for me.

I realize that I will have to make a lifestyle change. Blah, blah, heard it before. My plan at this time is to continue to weigh myself every day after I get to my goal. If I'm up more than a couple of pounds, I will do the shakes until I'm back down. If I stay on top of it that closely, I shouldn't have to go through any of this again.

I know I'm a little ahead of myself thinking about maintenance before I've even got the weight off. There just isn't that much to focus on when all you do is drink shakes and exercise.

Beginning Stats

How many ways to show that I am fat?

Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 247 pounds
BMI: 38

Upper Arm: 16"
Chest: 48"
Waist: 45"
Hips: 46"
Thigh: 27"
Calf: 17"

I'll try to update the weight weekly and I'll try to update the measurements on the first of each month.

Frustration with Delay

I went to the Orientation meeting for the HMR Diet today. I'm pretty excited about the plan. I need the structure of a "Decision Free" plan. If I don't have to make any choices, I can't make any bad choices. Only one major setback... I can't start for almost three weeks.

I have to have a complete physical and the one I had in November from my own doctor does not count. So the earliest I can do that is April 17th. The first class that I can attend to start the program is April 22nd. I'm motivated NOW. And with a cronic dieter, that is important to act upon.

I could potentially spend the next three weeks eating like every meal is my last. Possibly gaining another 5 pounds in the process. So I decided to do something else instead. I signed up for the HMR at Home plan for the next two weeks. I can start it now. It isn't the plan that I want to follow and it won't show as drastic results, but it will ease me into the program until I can get the physical and start. And I may be a few pounds down by then.

Maybe it will be a postitive. Maybe it will let my body adjust to a lower calorie/lower fat diet without having to go cold turkey. Three shakes during the day with five fruits and vegetables and a reasonable meal at night. Seems simple enough.

I will start tomorrow. That means I need to do some measurements and picture taking tonight. And I need to find my shake mixer. :)

HMR Diet - Research & Contemplation

I'm thinking about weight loss (again). I've done this before and had relative levels of success. I've done Weight Watchers and LA Weightloss. Now I'm ready to try something new, something a little drastic. I'm at my heaviest (non-pregnant) weight. I would like to lose weight, but I suffer from impatience. I don't want to wait a year or two to see the results. I want something that will work fast enough to keep my interest and motivation.

The HMR diet is run through my local health care clinic and involves mostly liquid replacement meals. It promises fast results and no decisions to make for the first 13 weeks. It is medically supervised. I'm attending an orientation session for it tomorrow and I will know more at that time. Right now I have just been doing multiple web searches for information. There is a serious lack of what I am looking for: Real people sharing their HMR diet experiences. So maybe I will try.

This brings up new questions for myself. Do I post with absolute honestly? Height, Weight, BMI, Measurements? If I did that, I would not necessarily want to share that information with friends and family. (I guess absolute strangers are OK though.) Do I play coy with the numbers just so I can let my friends and family read the blog? Hmmm. What about pictures? I would love to post some before, progress, and after shots. Again, maybe I wouldn't want to share the pictures that would be most motivating to me. (The ones where I look the worst.)

For now, I will continue to research and contemplate.