Body Image Weirdness

In the beginning, I felt fat. I felt fat enough finally to want to go on a diet. Change my lifestyle. Whatever.

After I lost some weight, I started to feel thin. Obviously, if my pants are baggy, I must be thin, right?

Now I'm kind of stalled and I feel fat again. Even though the weight is still off.

What is up with that? Have I just become used to my body as it is? Which feeling is real?

A plateau is a strange place to be. Just sitting here waiting for the next drop to come.

Week 19 - Stayed the Same

Weigh in: 209 pounds
Total loss: 36.3 pounds

Believe it or not, I'm not really trying to maintain. I'm still trying to lose. But I've gotten really good at staying the same. Almost every morning, I weigh exactly the same.

I'm tempted to take a few days and just do shakes again to get past this weight. I know that I'm due for a big loss week. I wanted it to be this week. Maybe it will be next week since I will finally be able to get back to my normal exercise schedule next week.

Oh well. At least I'm not gaining.

Week 17 - 1.5 Pounds

Weigh in: 209 pounds
Total loss: 36.3 pounds

I'm back on track.

I know it is kind of boring and hard to read about someone moving up and down and more or less maintaining. It is a lot more exciting to read about the big losses and success.

Believe me, I would much rather have the big losses. But right now I'm just kind of getting used to this weight before I try really hard to lose the next 15-20 pounds. A few weeks of small losses will be OK with me.

Week 16 - (+) 1 pound

Weigh in: 210.5 pounds
Total loss: 34.8 pounds

I don't know how that happened. (Reread previous post.) Oh yeah. That is how it happened. No exercise and a little snacking. But I do have the new plan.

I came out of my maintenance class today totally motivated to do better. Most of the class had a gain this week. Maybe the scale is off or maybe trans fats are being pumped into the air in Illinois. Either way, I know I can do better.

My lovely and talented sister-in-law has come up with a "punishment" for me should I gain for three weeks in a row. If I gain again next week, I have to post an unflattering picture from before I started the weight loss. Fine. I'm up for that bet. The chances of me gaining three weeks in a row are pretty slim. There is another bet going where I would get to post a bad picture of her to my Facebook page. Just so you know that we are fair in our torturing of each other.

I'm totally going to lose next week. Weight, that is.

Little Things Add Up

I was home flat on my back for three days with lower back pain. I was getting no exercise and taking a lot of Advil. And, wow, did I want to eat. Boredom eating is one of my major downfalls. There isn't any part of my day that wouldn't be a little brighter with some M & Ms added to it.

I didn't eat too much outside of the plan, but the freedom of being on maintenance let me talk myself into grabbing a handful of this and a couple of those. I need to remember that all those little things will add up. Especially when I'm not adding in any exercise to burn of the extra.

Today, I am starting to restrict myself again. I have about six weeks until we go to DisneyWorld. I don't want to waste those six weeks of potential weight loss.

My days should look like this (It is very similar to the HMR at Home plan):

Breakfast: 1 Fruit
Snack: 1 Shake
Lunch: 2 Vegetables
Snack: 1 Shake
Dinner: 1 Entree, 1 Vegetable, 1 Fruit
Snack: 1 Shake

When necessary, I will add extra fruits or vegetables. This will fulfill the minimums that are required for my maintenance. It restricts me to not adding any extras.

I'm also striving to hit the 2000 calorie minimum exercise again. I slacked off a bit lately. I have no excuse (other than the back pain). The weather has been beautiful and mild. Perfect for walking. So I am doing 15 minutes, three times a day on my morning break, lunch hour, and afternoon break. If I don't get it done during the day, I'll have to make it up on my treadmill at night. That gets more difficult with the amount of homework supervision I have had lately.

I'm trying to get back that "new diet" feeling. That time when you are obsessed about following the rules and journaling your efforts. Wish me luck.

Week 15 - (+) 2 pounds

Weigh in: 209.5 pounds
Total loss: 35.8 pounds

So vodka does not help promote the weight loss the way the beer from last weekend did.

I had a lot of fun in Chicago this weekend. I drank vodka and got to see Radiohead live at Lollapalooza. I ate a couple of meals out that were off plan. I kept the portions really small, but the contents were more fattening than my usual meals.

I did OK. The weight will come off again next week. I didn't let it turn in to a weekend long binge. Overall, I'm proud of the way I handled it.